The Distorted Divine Masculine and Objectification of People, Blog 9 of 11
- heatherannkoehn
- Feb 23
- 4 min read
The Divine Masculine, as energy in its purest form, is a force of strength, protection, honor, and wisdom. It creates, leads with integrity, and nurtures life.
However, when wounded or distorted, it can become a force of domination, control, and objectification.
One of the most pervasive expressions of this distortion is the treatment of others—men and women—as objects to be owned, controlled, or used rather than as sovereign beings deserving of respect, love, and emotional connection.
Understanding Objectification and the Distorted Masculine
At its core, objectification stems from a deeply ingrained belief that other people exist primarily for one’s benefit rather than as autonomous individuals with their own needs, desires, and emotions.
In the distorted masculine framework, relationships often become transactional rather than sacred connections.
This perspective prioritizes power, conquest, and external validation over emotional depth and mutual respect.
Origins of Objectification in the Distorted Masculine
The roots of this distortion often lie in early conditioning, personal wounds, and societal programming. Here’s how this distortion can develop over different life stages:
Childhood: A child may grow up in a household where emotional vulnerability is discouraged, where expressions of love are conditional, or where dominance and control are modeled as the primary means of relating to others.
Teen Years: Exposure to hyper-masculine ideals in media, pornography, or peer culture can reinforce the idea that relationships revolve around power and status rather than emotional intimacy.
Twenties & Thirties: Societal pressures may push men to “prove” themselves through sexual conquests, financial success, or emotional detachment, reinforcing transactional relationships.
Middle Age & Beyond: If left unexamined, these patterns can deepen, leading to failed relationships, emotional disconnection, and an inability to form authentic connections based on mutual respect and vulnerability.
Signs of Objectification in the Distorted Masculine
Viewing others (especially women) as trophies or status symbols.
Treating relationships as a means to an end rather than a space for genuine connection.
Seeing emotional vulnerability as weakness.
Seeking validation through control, dominance, or manipulation.
Using charm, wealth, or power to acquire rather than to nurture relationships.
Resisting true intimacy, often replacing it with transactional interactions (sex, money, favors).
The Impact of Objectification on Society
Harm to Women: Women often bear the brunt of objectification, experiencing it in workplaces, relationships, and social structures. It fosters gender inequality, emotional harm, and a loss of autonomy.
Harm to Men: The distorted masculine ultimately isolates men from genuine love and connection, trapping them in cycles of dissatisfaction and emotional numbness.
Harm to Society: A culture of objectification fuels toxic power dynamics, erodes trust in relationships, and weakens the foundation of true partnership between the masculine and feminine.
Healing the Distorted Masculine: Shadow Work & Integration
Healing requires deep introspection and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. Here are some steps for shadow work and integration:
Self-Reflection Questions:
When have I viewed relationships as a means to an end rather than a sacred connection?
Do I struggle with vulnerability? If so, where does that resistance come from?
How was love modeled for me in childhood? Did I learn that control equals love?
Have I used charm, wealth, or status to “win” people rather than connect with them?
Shadow Work Exercises:
Mirror Work: Look into a mirror and say: “I release the need to control or dominate. I am worthy of love and connection.” Notice any discomfort or resistance.
Journaling Exercise: Write a letter to someone you have objectified in the past, apologizing for your mindset and expressing what you’ve learned.
Inner Child Work: Meditate on the child within you who first learned that power was more important than connection. What does he need to hear to heal?
How to Support a Loved One Stuck in the Distorted Masculine
Model healthy relationships by demonstrating vulnerability and emotional depth.
Hold space for them to express their fears and insecurities.
Encourage self-reflection through books, therapy, or spiritual guidance.
Set boundaries if their behavior is harmful to you.
Conclusion: Reclaiming the Divine Masculine
The journey from distortion to divinity is one of self-awareness, healing, and transformation.
The true Divine Masculine honors, protects, and nurtures—not through control, but through wisdom and presence. By recognizing and dismantling the objectification mindset, we create space for sacred relationships built on trust, love, and mutual respect.
Healing is possible. The path begins with awareness—and the willingness to see others not as objects, but as sacred souls on their own divine journeys.
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