The Hidden Divine Black Sheep: Rest, Retreat, and the Return to Purpose

heatherannkoehn
Aug 19
4 min read

The Divine Black Sheep watching over the flock.

What happens when you know you are a Divine Black Sheep, but you’ve had your fill?

When you’ve been mistreated, misunderstood, torn apart for your voice, and punished for your purpose?

When your fire feels more like an ember and fear whispers that it would be safer—easier—to stay quiet, to blend in, to hide?

It is a real ache.

A Divine Black Sheep can grow so weary from standing up for the downtrodden, defending humanity, and carrying the mantle of their calling that they long for silence, for rest, for anonymity.

The idea of tucking your essence away and taking shelter among those who do not truly see you can feel like relief.

But here is the paradox: a soul’s essence cannot be hidden forever.

The Illusion of Refuge

Sometimes, a Divine Black Sheep finds temporary comfort among flocks that do not serve.

Perhaps these are people who:

Move with mal intent, seeking only to reap without ever sowing.
Claim they have “done enough” and fall into the role of victim, though in truth, they are resisting growth.
Offer acceptance in exchange for your silence, as long as your light stays dimmed.

But this is not real refuge.

These same people would abandon you at a moment’s notice if they knew the depth of your beliefs, the radiance of your soul, the truth of your essence.

What seems like belonging is only borrowed time.

The Cost of Hiding

When a Divine Black Sheep hides, there is an internal toll:

Anxiety creeps in, born of the split between outer self and inner truth.

A deep sadness lingers, because a false identity is a heavy mask to wear.
A quiet guilt grows, for hoarding the holy gifts that were never meant to be kept, but shared with humanity.

Your soul knows the truth. The Creator knows the truth.

When you live as though you are not who you truly are, life becomes constricted, small, and filled with longing for something unnamed.

Why You Cannot Hide Forever

Divine gifts are not possessions—they are entrusted.

They are not riches for the self alone, but wealth meant for humanity. And humanity is served through the earth and people.

If a Divine Black Sheep withholds their gifts, suffering follows—not as punishment, but as a natural consequence of withholding the medicine you carry.

This does not mean you are never allowed to rest. Rest is holy. Retreat is necessary. There are seasons of going inward to heal, restore, and listen. But permanent hiding, permanent denial of your purpose, will never bring peace.

What Then?

If you are a Divine Black Sheep who feels too bruised to rise, know this:

You are not required to leap back into the fire today.
You are not required to carry others on your shoulders while you are still mending your own wounds.
You are not required to roar when a whisper is all you have.

But you are required to be true to yourself.

Even if that truth is small at first. Even if that truth is spoken only in prayer, or written in the pages of your journal, or shared with one trusted confidant.

Because the Creator will always come for you. Not in wrath, but in love. Not to punish, but to remind you of your essence. You cannot outrun your own soul.

A Final Reflection

If you are hiding, ask yourself:

Am I truly resting, or am I avoiding?
Am I staying silent because it heals me, or because I fear others’ rejection?
If I stripped away the false belonging I’ve taken refuge in, what would my soul ask of me now—today, in this moment?

The path of the Divine Black Sheep is not easy. It never was. But it is holy.

And though you may stumble, hide, or grow weary, your calling will always remain.

One day, when you are ready, you will rise again.

Because your gifts are not yours to hoard—they are humanity’s to receive.

Ready to Go Deeper?

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